In Bocklehampton’s St Eczema’s church, a stained glass window has shed new light on the age-old debate surrounding the nature of Jesus Christ’s relationship with Mary Magdalene. The image captured in the window portrays the couple in an intimate pose, set against a picturesque rural backdrop, seemingly about to embrace.

It has been said that stained glass windows were the “photography of the age,” and it’s entirely possible that JC & MM, while out for a leisurely stroll one hazy Sunday afternoon, stumbled upon a local craftsperson and commissioned the piece as a way to immortalise their cherished memory.

At the unveiling of the recently restored window, a committee of hand gesture experts issued a statement: “We believe that in the newly restored stained glass window, Mary Magdalene is clearly expressing her consent and desire to get it on with Jesus.”

This revelation could prove significant in the debate about whether Jesus and Mary had offspring. Whispers of a daughter and son have been doing the historical rounds for years, but rarely listened to. If these latest findings are verified, the hunt for living descendants will undoubtedly begin. What happens after that is anyone’s guess.