Old Actors

How did everyone get so old?
I can’t believe the Picard series three.
I kept wanting to yell at the fumbling Patrick Stewart to speak up!
I couldn’t hear him because his voice was so weak.

And what happened to Joaquin Phoenix?
How did he get so old all of a sudden?
Wasn’t he young, until recently?
Just how old is he?

It’s the era of the elderly, sleepy Al Pacino.
They aren’t dying off,
That’s why they’re everywhere.
Keeping the work to themselves.

We’re not just funding them into pensionable age.
We’re funding them beyond pensionable age.
To the post pension era, Judy Dench.
The post pension era of the extremely elderly and working.

They’re everywhere you look,
Hanging onto to jobs,
Taking the money, Harrison Ford.
Why are they so greedy?

I don’t want to see lots of crinkly old folk,
Who can’t project their voice any more, Julie Andrews.
Who look more confused than awake.
Who keep on taking the money.

And they pretend to be young,
Starring in their own flashbacks,
“Twelve years earlier…” reads the unbelievable caption.
OK, I will suspend my natural sense of belief for now.

I don’t imagine that I have a choice.

Thanks, old people, Ian McKellan.
Thanks for just stumbling on, moaning.
Taking up space and complaining,
When you’ve got absolutely nothing to complain about.

You’re still here, aren’t you?
Taking up space, being un-useful.
Moaning and groaning,
While we all just put up with you.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.