During the great pandemic of 2020 – 2024, the home accommodation of cats and rabbits fell, while for the same period of time, the figure for dogs rose. Writing as a dog, I find the statistics both believable and understandable. After all, you won’t get very far down the road for your daily exercise expecting a rabbit to lead the way. However, this hasn’t been all good for the dog world, at least not in my part of town. First-off, the additional influx has brought with it pressure onto the ownership of territories, with new claims appearing every month. These new dogs, often they don’t even have English as their first bark, growl and whine language, making civil communication over a dispute near-on impossible.
Now, I am not a bitter character by nature, but there’s also the distinct “loyalty decline” seen creeping into our human servant’s psyche. A new dog on the block attracts lots of attention, enquiry, and a rather pathetic public display of emotion. What’s a Dachshund or a Labradoodle got that I haven’t got, anyway? Cuteness? Well, if you ask me, once you’ve seen one…
Thirdly, there is the accessorising; a wholly unpalatable outcome. It seems that beyond simply being, we are expected to look fashionable too. I have no complaints against the additional grooming, but recently this concept developed. Driven by social media and comparison culture, the latest fad has come as quite a shock. Quite literally so, with dye-colouring for dogs now a thing. Following my most recent visit to a grooming salon, it wasn’t until I saw my reflection in a mirror that I realised my coat had been transformed. From what had once been a beautiful medium-blonde, I saw myself in pink. Or, to use the words of the groomer, “Peach Sunset”. The Chihuahua next door is “Pistachio Mint” and the French Bulldog from across the road, this poor mutt has a coat of black and white stripes!
What next, rainbow contact lenses? Piercings and tattoos? In all respects, this state of malaise has gotten out of paw and needs addressing. This is why I am writing this, as a direct appeal to you. Please, help. Ease-up on the dog breeding, give us your undivided attention and let’s get back to nature.