These plastic teeth of mine
I bought online
In the advert
the model’s own teeth
slipped easily inside
into a strip of plastic teeth
First the top ones
then the film cut away
and the bottom ones were fitted
In the third scene
the model looks elated
is filmed pretty close-up
to the recording camera lens
They look great
the teeth
Amazing!
Stunning!
Uniform and the whitest white!
The model’s face is lit
The model looks elated
So
a week later
my pair arrives
My first impression
they don’t look real at all
these strips of plastic
laid there in the palm of my hand
Maybe once in my mouth
I’d feel differently
The teeth took ages and ages to fit
accomplished only by removing two teeth
from each end of the two strips
using scissors
Quickly
my real teeth ached
and my gums felt sore
but I kept them in place
I thought I’d get used to them
When I first tried to speak
I was talking to myself
and noticed I had developed
a speech impediment
I could no longer clearly form words
On each attempt
an accompanying
sloshing of saliva sounded
Soon after
I began to wonder
if plastic teeth
held the answer
Brinkinfield 