No Use Sitting Here Moping

From a series of short form fictions taking inspiration from collage.

My parents’ bodies have been taken over by aliens. It’s come as no surprise to me, really. It’s been happening right across the country, since the beginning of the year. It was only a matter of time – I think even my parents realised this as being so.

Apparently, they’re only here to learn about our world and when they are done, everything will go back to normal. Except they have promised to make the world a better place before they leave, as thanks for us providing them with an unrivalled opportunity to acquire such valuable information. Knowledge they will take back to their world and spread across the universe, during the course of their travels.

The trouble is, there are a few wrinkles needing ironing out. The inhabitance of my parents’ bodies hasn’t been problem free. I mean, what’s with the red eyes? That’s just creepy. It’s not something they have control over, they said. It’s their own natural eye colour – and they need their own eyes to be able to see what’s around them.

In general, I’d say ‘Mother’, is the more curious of the two. Father has become somewhat detached, more so than usual. All he does is exchange small talk with me; it’s become extremely repetitive. He keeps saying how well my hair colour matches my school uniform tie. I mean, how am I supposed to reply to that?

Anyway, I understand these pair will be gone by the end of the month. There’s some sort of rotation thing going on. I may get new ones, or I may not – this hasn’t been explained to me. I can confirm there have been a few improvements. The recycling has certainly been sorted out. Previously, I’d often find a wrong item placed in the recycling box, such as a crisp packet, or teabag. Not anymore, partly because we now have a box for compostable items and also because they’ve simply stopped buying products that either can’t be – or are troublesome to be recycled.

Mother told me today, that when they are completely finished, they’ll take all the weapons and armoury from around the world and refashion the bits that can be used into actually useful objects. I said but people will just make them again and she said no, they won’t – they won’t remember how to. They’ll make us forget. Also, they’ll leave some secrets with us about how to improve the production methods for arable farming and maximise yields. Lastly, they’ll leave some written advice on population control. She said we can’t just keep going on with more people and at our present rate, there’ll be a 3 billion increase in humans populating Earth within the next ten years – and that that is completely unsustainable for a little planet like ours.

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